Tsabary believes, as I do, that a child’s misbehavior or emotional distress is always due to the parents. Working with a child in therapy, then sending her back into a dysfunctional home setting is just an exercise in frustration for everyone.ĭr. I may never even see the child, because addressing how the parents are functioning emotionally is the foundation for a child’s emotional wellbeing. Or, as I might say less eloquently: “Deal with your own emotional issues first.” This is why when parents call for “child therapy” I require at least four sessions with parents first.

As part of this approach, we are asked to open ourselves up to the possibility that our imperfections may actually be our most valuable tools for change.” She writes: “The objective of this book is to illumine how we might identify and capitalize on the emotional and spiritual lessons inherent in the parenting process, so that we can use them for our own development, which in turn will result in the ability to parent more effectively. Or: “To connect with your children first connect with yourself.”

Tsabary’s premise is that - if parents are open to it - children can be the teachers for a parent’s soul-searching journey of self-improvement. In fact, rather than saying that the parents are in place to teach the child, Dr.

This question should provoke a paradigm shift for many parents, leading them away from a traditional “know-it-all” approach to a more respectful, mutual relationship with their child. The core question asked and answered by The Conscious Parent is obvious: How can you expect to raise children with a higher state of consciousness and empowerment if you are not a conscious and self-aware parent? She has also written The Awakened Family and Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn’t Work and What Does, which I will review in future blogs. Here is my summary and review of her New York Times bestselling book The Conscious Parent. Based on that initial blog, I assumed I would like the books, and I do. Tsabary’s work again and realized she now has three bestselling books out. A number of years ago I read a blog by psychologist Shefali Tsabary, PhD, and liked it enough to include it on one of my parenting handouts on Reflective Listening.

The conscious parent dr shefali